Elopement Thoughts.

Allow me to tell you a story about the first time I filmed an elopement. I told my Dad I was headed to Niagara Falls to film a couple who were traveling up from Texas. They brought their parents along to watch them, get married in a little gazebo beside the falls with a private officiant. I was bragging, I thought the idea of traveling somewhere to get married was cool and adventurous. My Dad just laughed, “Well what’s the point in eloping if you’re going to film and tell people about it?” He remarked. I didn’t know how to respond because at the time I was 22 and had never really thought about eloping or marriage at all in that regard. So, why did we have such different ideas about it?

In his time, eloping was a way to stick it to Mom and Dad by running off and marrying a bad boy across the street without permission, or quickly getting hitched at the courthouse so you could leave town. Maybe even run off to Vegas for a quick weekend adventure. In my parent’s day, eloping was seen as a rebellious and secret act. One that you did on a whim to quickly marry the person you were crazy about and start a life. In some ways it’s still the same, people still elope in secrecy only revealing to their family and friends after the fact. People still go to town hall to wed, and I’m sure people still get married as a way to tell off their parents. But, some plan it for months, some even include friends and family.

Now, at the age of 29, I think about weddings and elopements a lot. Granted, part of that is because I shoot weddings for a living. However, in recent years I’ve experienced a bombardment of engagements and weddings on my social media feed from cousins, high school friends, and university acquaintances. Some opted for big weddings but recently, I’ve seen a lot of people going the elopement route.

Why? I think like everything, the economy plays a role. It’s a heck of a lot cheaper to just go and get married in private rather than plan a big expensive party. I also can’t deny the cultural shift in how we think about weddings and marriage. For couples with no large religious or cultural ties, which may put pressure on having bigger traditional weddings, there are fewer social and family pressures to get married in the first place. If you already live with your partner, possibly with kids or pets, a wedding doesn’t necessarily mark any big change in your lives other than possibly a last name change. This means getting married can be easy and intimate if you choose. Everything about our lives is so broadcast these days that taking that private personal day for just the two of you seems more special than any party could be.

What we call an elopement varies. Some people decide to bring their parents or just a couple of witnesses. I’ve heard of some elopements that involve four close friends… do we still call that an elopement, or are we hovering on micro wedding territory? Does an elopement mean you have to go somewhere far away or can you just drive five mins down the road to town hall?

Elopements appear to have been taking off in the past seven years since I started filming weddings, I think it’s a sign of the times we live in, and I think the definition of them has changed too. They don’t have to be a wayward decision or whimsical choice, as our parents saw them. They aren’t one thing, just like weddings aren’t one thing. It’s a day that you get to celebrate love, and promise to stand by another person’s side forever, no matter where you are or how many people are there with you.

*Let me know what you think about my elopement thoughts. Do you agree interest seems to be rising? Did you elope and have some insights? are you thinking about eloping? What are your general thoughts about eloping altogether? I’d love to hear!